The Secrets of the Co-Sleeper

By Tina Rychlik

Japanese babies sleep between their parents. Their position symbolizes a river between two banks. This picturesque view of co-sleeping reveals the intimacy between parents and their offspring and how co-sleeping creates a family unit. In contrast, modern Western societies emphasize the need for independence and individuality. As such, we are used to putting the baby to sleep in his own bed, in his own room. Even if we are told by the health visitors that it is much better to keep a baby nearby, in your own room in a separate bed, we are eager to find "excuses" such as "He is so noisy at night", "I have no privacy" etc. in order to place him back into his own cot bed in a different room.

Sleeping in a single bed, away from the parents and/or siblings is a modern phenomenon, no older than 200 years. For thousands of years prior we co-sleept with our parents, our siblings and family. The modern ways of living are ruled by individuality and independence which in turn create a society of increased anti social behavior and loneliness loneliness.

Anthropologist James McKenna conducted research in order to find out the truth about co-sleepers. He found that when a baby sleeps with his mother the pattern of brain wave activity, heart rate, muscle movement and breathing are astonishingly similar in both. During the sleep mother and baby exhibit a deep bond. Their experience of sleep is mutual as they share the same sleep pattern. In fact, it has been suggested that sleeping close to the mother helps the baby "learn" how to sleep safely explaining why the sleep pattern of both are so in sync.

Unfortunately, today's perception of sleeping with the parents is understood to create an emotional dependence which is regarded as a negative trait within the human development.

Another reason why people widely assume co-sleeping to be a threat rather than a blessing to baby development is the fear of the Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). This phenomenon is a very controversial subject. However, recent changes in the way babies should be handled have made a big difference to the number of cot deaths: For many years, parents were told that they should lay their babies facing down so that the infant would not choke on its own vomit. However, since parents were advised to put their babies face up rather than face down the rates of SIDS dropped rapidly. Since the new advice was given, in the UK alone there has been a 90% reduction in the rate of SIDS from 1981 to 1992.*

In combination with co-sleeping, research has shown that mothers instinctively put their babies on their backs as this position makes it easier for them to breastfeed during the night, to check the baby and to give the baby freedom to move about, thus less likely to be forced into an uncomfortable position. When co-sleeping, mothers instinctively put their babies into a position that allows them to be face to face during the night. This seems to be the most natural position for both: if they lie on their back and have a choice of where to look, they move their heads to face each other. One might consider that facing each other is a danger as the mother breathes out an enormous amount of carbon dioxide. Yet, research suggests that an atmosphere of CO2 in the face might also help infants to learn to breathe because their brain is triggered to regulate breathing. Furthermore, it has been shown that direct skin-to-skin contact, especially for premature babies, is very important as long as they do not get overheated.

Mothers are very instinctive when they co-sleep with their new babies and repeatedly kiss, touch and readjust the baby, often even when asleep. In contrast to sleeping in their own rooms, co-sleeping babies are under constant supervision.

The individual experience of co-sleeping with a baby is very intense. As parents we take on huge responsibility to raise our babies and children safely. We have to keep in mind that babies and parents grow together. As their needs change so do the responses that constitute a dynamic two-way system that requires each other. The parent-baby relationship is shaped through an interactive system which meets the infant's biological necessities. As such, co-sleeping is a vital part of this relationship and helps to meet both parents' and babies' needs to bond naturally.

*Recommended book: Small, M.F.(1999). Our Babies, Ourselves. How biology and culture shape the way we parent. New York: Anchor Books.

Tina Rychlik is the proud mother of two, and the owner of BabysBest.co.uk an online store dedicated to the preservation of our children's health. Offering only organic and all natural baby products, you can find guidelines and advice for baby and their parents by visiting http://www.babysbest.co.uk

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